So, I am having A LOT of difficulties to focus on finishing my FYP project.
I’m in a state of INERTIA. As my title says, I’m no longer a student but I’m not yet an employee, with ??? – question marks. Let me explain. So my classes have officially ended last Wednesday but my final presentation is on this Friday (some of my classmates have their slot on Thursday) and our documents can be submitted the following Thursday.
BUT unfortunately this entire journey feels exceedingly drawn out that’s why I feel like I have not more stamina and I sincerely just want to finish up but somehow there’s this inertia that’s getting to me and I have been trying to fight it continuously since… like for the whole of April. T^T
On a slightly different note, being in this stage of my life feels awkward. VERY awkward. People are CONSTANTLY asking me, so are you done with school/have you graduated/are you working – depending on how young/old they perceive me to be. Unfortunately, the impression I let on is a lot older than I really am. I’m only 22 going on 23 but it seems like people think I have been working for.. a while. Sadly. Though arguable that’s true because I did work / intern during my hols and before my degree started. Heh.
AND I feel that I need to document this awkward stage of my life down. It’s not like I’m going to experience many times of graduating from university and worrying (but not really) where I’m headed to after.
I think being in this state of flux… the between, unsettles me. Not
knowing how to move forward wanting to move forward perhaps out of a subconscious fear of losing the past. I hold dear to my life in school, I do, I don’t deny it. I love it. I feel protected, challenged but sheltered. It’s not that I feel I’m not ready to begin work. But work life is tiring, I know it, I’ve been through it and I think being thrown out of a student’s life and into work life, it’s daunting, its sad. This stage of my life can be summed up in one word – bittersweet. Sick-sweet, like dried up roses in the window pane.
I have gone for job interviews, but I have no confirmed offers. I’m genuinely not worried because I think at
worse optimistically thinking, I can be a full time home tutor that earns a lot money and besides I like teaching! HAHA. Ok, I’m half joking and digressing. The truth is, I just rest assure that God has it all worked out and my fretting ain’t gonna do any good to me. ^^v
OH yes and the ??? in the title is also regards to I don’t know yet if I am going to be an employee or enjoy being called that. I don’t want to be an employee. I don’t like that term. Contributor yes maybe. HAHA. Anyhoos. Moving on…
Easier said than done. BUT DO IT ANYWAYS! (image cr: RemedyQuarterly)
OK so I’m just gonna crawl back to finishing up my work. AND I promise myself (kekeke) I will upload work I’ve done in the 3 years of my life in LASALLE, from business reports to trendboards and project proposals, AFTER I’ve graduated, which is SOON!
THAT plus photos from HK and JPN.
AND I am heading to UK, London this Sunday, how exciting is that? Anyone from UK reading this? Please contact me for a meet up! 😉
After UK, I’ll make it back for my own graduation show preparations before leaving to Philippines for my THIRD mission trip there! CAN’T WAIT.
p.s. addicted to this song atm: