Tag Archives: Life

Some really great quotes here. Been thinking and emoting a lot lately. One of the decisions I’ve made is that I’m probably gonna be too busy to be writing fashion posts & reviewing beauty products here now that I’ve got a full time job. But thoughts, I’ve got abundant of them and writing, even if for 5 minutes a day, is surely something I can afford.
To add my quotes to the ones above:

We’ve only one life, if we don’t live it how we will, when will we ever do?

I’ve decided I’ll choose to live life the way I want to because it’s impossible to please everyone.

 

And with that, my dear readers, welcome to a new era on Enabalista – my life, my thoughts.

xo

No longer a Student, Not yet an Employee (???)

HI

So, I am having A LOT of difficulties to focus on finishing my FYP project.

I’m in a state of INERTIA. As my title says, I’m no longer a student but I’m not yet an employee, with ??? – ย question marks. Let me explain. So my classes have officially ended last Wednesday but my final presentation is on this Friday (some of my classmates have their slot on Thursday) and our documents can be submitted the following Thursday.

BUT unfortunately this entire journey feels exceedingly drawn out that’s why I feel like I have not more stamina and I sincerely just want to finish up but somehow there’s this inertia that’s getting to me and I have been trying to fight it continuously since… like for the whole of April. T^T

On a slightly different note, being in this stage of my life feels awkward. VERY awkward. People are CONSTANTLY asking me, so are you done with school/have you graduated/are you working – depending on how young/old they perceive me to be. Unfortunately, the impression I let on is a lot older than I really am. I’m only 22 going on 23 but it seems like people think I have been working for.. a while. Sadly. Though arguable that’s true because I did work / intern during my hols and before my degree started. Heh.

AND I feel that I need to document this awkward stage of my life down. It’s not like I’m going to experience many times of graduating from university and worrying (but not really) where I’m headed to after.

I think being in this state of flux… the between, unsettles me. Not knowing how to move forwardย wanting to move forward perhaps out of a subconscious fear of losing the past. I hold dear to my life in school, I do, I don’t deny it. I love it. I feel protected, challenged but sheltered. It’s not that I feel I’m not ready to begin work. But work life is tiring, I know it, I’ve been through it and I think being thrown out of a student’s life and into work life, it’s daunting, its sad. This stage of my life can be summed up in one word – bittersweet. Sick-sweet, like dried up roses in the window pane.

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Sorry guys, this isn’t me and I stole this off tumblr, I think.

I have gone for job interviews, but I have no confirmed offers. I’m genuinely not worried because I think at worseย  optimistically thinking, I can be a full time home tutor that earns a lot money and besides I like teaching! HAHA. Ok, I’m half joking and digressing. The truth is, I just rest assure that God has it all worked out and my fretting ain’t gonna do any good to me. ^^v

OH yes and the ??? in the title is also regards to I don’t know yet if I am going to be an employee or enjoy being called that. I don’t want to be an employee. I don’t like that term. Contributor yes maybe. HAHA. Anyhoos. Moving on…

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Easier said than done. BUT DO IT ANYWAYS! (image cr: RemedyQuarterly)

OK so I’m just gonna crawl back to finishing up my work. AND I promise myself (kekeke) I will upload work I’ve done in the 3 years of my life in LASALLE, from business reports to trendboards and project proposals, AFTER I’ve graduated, which is SOON!

THAT plus photos from HK and JPN.

AND I am heading to UK, London this Sunday, how exciting is that? Anyone from UK reading this? Please contact me for a meet up! ๐Ÿ˜‰

After UK, I’ll make it back for my own graduation show preparations before leaving to Philippines for my THIRD mission trip there! CAN’T WAIT.

xx
Ena

p.s. addicted to this song atm:

An Announcement

I’ve been wanting to write this for quite some time now but I didn’t quite feel I needed to publish it, or let people know about it until really today.

The rather important announcement I have to make, which I began to feel the impetus, an unshakable obligation, is that *drum rolls please*……

I have changed.

Ena Teo, more commonly known as Teo Jia En in real life, offline, has irrevocably changed.

I wrote a pretty long personal reflection at the end of last year, now shelved somewhere in a folder on my desktop that the people I’ve met last year has changed me more than I’ve changed them. I’ve been changed more than what I think we collectively can imagine.

Like it or not, people have an insidious influence on others.

So how have I changed? You may ask.

I have changed from bring a naive, trusting, innocent, un-beguiling girl to an aware, skeptical, doubtful, assuming person.

I’ve become more like those who made me this way.

I’ve become less of who I was – that purity and innocence that I embodied were taken for granted, mocked, despised, spat on, ripped out and apart.

And people will look at the change in me and wonder. Not that they have actually done so, but I imagine. “What has happened to the Jia En of the past? What has happened to you? You were never quite so mean or bitchy. Why are you like that now?”

You want to know what happened?

Life happened.

I find it even more ironic that a close friend, whom I trust very much, told me not to lose that purity and innocence. I don’t doubt the sincerity of her heart. But coming from another like the who I am now, where is the validity of that statement?

Essentially, how can you expect another to be pure and innocent when you also are no longer, in this dark and tainted world?

In case you are wondering at this point about purity and innocence, I refer to mental and spiritual, not physical or sexual.

I debated within myself for months. I was evasive. I evaded having to face, how to reconcile the fact of others mocking my “nice-ness” to them by lying quite blatantly and repeatedly in my face. The saying in mandarin “Good people have no good returns” still ring quite soundly in my ears. To say I’m used to being taken for granted, or my kind actions to be taken for granted is an understatement.

So I did make a decision, not quite decisively, but rather naturally, logically. That I was never going to be the stupid fool giving out free love and care to the “un-deserving”. Not especially if I’ve come to see that she doesn’t appreciate it.

Yes everyone deserves a chance. Yes I still choose to see the world as a half full cup and people I meet at the first time as a 10/10 before negative experiences with them diminish the invisible count.

But I’ve become harsher, stricter with the people around me. If you use me, and I know it, for the second time after, I’ve said good bye to you in my heart. I’m just not going to initiate communication with you.

If you are giving me excuse, and expecting me to be the Jia En of the past, the nice one, the giving in one, the weak, the pushover.

This is the announcement I’m here to make. She’s gone.

This week made me grow up.

Made me really realize this change is here to stay.

Made me realize I’m no longer around to serve everyone, make their day and earn their smiles.

I still will, as a Christian, it is my pleasure to be of service to others.

But I’ve begun to draw a difference from those who are sincere. And those who are not.

People who are not sincere and out to exploit my niceness, please get out. You are not welcomed. You can say your good bye.

And now where I am, I have realized I’ve grown guts to say. No wait, I haven’t actually grown guts per se, they were always there, just hidden. Now I acknowledge I have the guts to say, if you are doing something wrong, to me, to the world, whatever, just something wrong, I’ll just state it as it is.

This rationale is flawed. I acknowledge that I am flawed. So yes you might have recognized by now that I’ve become like one of those defensive, oversensitive types. Perhaps over thinking and thinking the worse of others in order not to be taken advantage of. I doth agree.

Yes, I’ve become more self aware, selfish. Whatever happened to the biblical saying that if someone slaps you on your right cheek, turn over the left to him? What about the, forgive your brother up to 7×7 (meaning forever) times?

Id like to bring up that the bible also teaches one to be as gentle as doves but as cunning as snakes. You certainly have to lose some battles to win some battles but you certainly DON’T consistently let another play you like a fool when you know you are played.

Christianity is about love, receiving God’s love and showing God’s love to others. It is not about allowing others to take advantage of your pure and kind nature for their own agenda. It is not. Christians are not pushovers. In fact we are anything but that. I do humbly think if you have offended a Christian you should be thankful he or she is one and able to forgive and let go, simple because we recognize that God has forgiven our sins and remember them no more.

I digress.

I am not going to harp on this topic any longer than I should. I am going end with a few thoughts.

Firstly, I speak up for all who can relate to how I feel. For those who can’t, stop assuming your nice friends will always forever be nice to you and you gawk and wonder whatever in heavens happened to them when they are nice no more one day.

Secondly if you know one of these nice people, stop exploiting them and I mean it. Start appreciating them and asking them how you can offer them any help back in return. Stop mocking them behind their backs and say “omg why is he or she so dumb by being so nice?” You are the dumber one who is receiving help from this supposedly dumb person. And if you hear such talk, don’t participate in it, say you think otherwise, thank and compliment the nice person instead! We have to learn to stand up against negative talk and stand up for what’s right!

Lastly, if you are reading this and you can totally relate, please comment and tell me about what you’ve been through, how you are coping or you’ve coped and if you think you’re still nice to all or nice with a differentiation (like me).

I’ve not stopped being nice. I don’t think you should either. I just think people should stop exploiting nice people. Nice people should stop letting others exploit them. Stand up for what’s right.

Lessons from Rice Biscuit Selling Stint

Back in early May, V and I were selling Taiwanese Rice Biscuits in Singapore Expo. From it, I gleaned some lessons about life and work. Before I commence on them, some pictures from our working days!

I am not promoting the brand or the rice biscuits on my blog, but the above picture shows how the biscuit machine looks like, the various flavours and how a regular biscuit looks like. It’s an interesting soft yet crunchy texture. For more information, visit the brand’s Facebook page here.

I never knew $1 coins came in $40 rolls… ย (:

Some pictures we took on the job… Most of my friends have a trigger happy habit, lol.

Lessons fromย ย Rice Biscuit Selling Stint:

Life is like a biscuit making machine, just as no two biscuits comes out alike, each individual is created differently, each one is unique.

This photo shows how the biscuit come in irregular sizes! The smaller ones are rejected, thrown away.

The process we take in life is also different. Even though I try my best to pack equal sizes of 7-8 (7 is the standard number) biscuits into each pack, to make a regular pack but sometimes the pack will inevitable contain smaller sized biscuits and some thicker or bigger biscuits. This is due to my point above, no two biscuits are created equal. Therefore, sometimes life gives you a better pack than others and sometimes life gives you the lesser pack.

Use good ingredients and customers will come back for more.

There were a handful of customers that came to buy 3 packs and one lady even bought 15 packs at one shot to keep and give away. If you provide products of quality, customers will no doubt come back for more.

Friendly neighbors make work more enjoyable and rewarding.

Almost everyday, V and I will get free food from our friendly neighboring aunty promoters. This is because we make friends with them, sometimes we give away those odd sizes biscuits (rejected sizes but still edible) and they will give us their food in return. Friendly neighbors make our working environment more enjoyable and rewarding. Most of them will also buy a pack or two to bring home.

A friendly and encouraging boss spurs and motivates productivity.

We were very blessed to meet with a good boss. He made work enjoyable despite the long hours. After the job, I recommended my friends to work for him and after our job stints, we even met up with him for a meal. (:

This was on of the slower – moving days so we were happy to hit $300 from selling the biscuits. (:

Itโ€™s interesting how a 10 day biscuit selling stint can teach / remind me of life lessons isnโ€™t it?