YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
2. INSTALL CUPBOARDS TO TIDY THINGS UP
3. USE THE CUPBOARDS
YOU CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
2. INSTALL CUPBOARDS TO TIDY THINGS UP
3. USE THE CUPBOARDS
Hi! I don’t usually post about fashion related topics on my blog, ironically since I am studying fashion. Talking about studying fashion, I find it rather contrived when people use the word “reading” fashion/law/whatever course instead of using “studying”. Just saying. So going back to the point, I was checking the blog contest comments sections to check out the recent posts and I was quite disappointed to see a new post that is vying for the Balenciaga bag. Haha. However I am glad to have read the post on monoxious.com because it’s a fashion-centred blog managed by two pretty girls who have an obsession with black.
Let the pictures do the talking. 😉
Oddly enough it’s the first time I chanced upon them although they’ve been writing since 2009. I think it is probably because they seldom attend local fashion events. Or maybe I am not as up-to-date with the local fashion blogging scene. Maybe both.
I enjoy reading their blog and I like seeing their outfit posts, their choice of clothing, bags, shoes and accessorizes. Even the choice of brands or place of purchase are relatable, like m)phosis, far east plaza, bugis street. They feature Ann Demeulemeester (had to google for the surname) knock-off shoe, mulberry knock-off bag and Alexander McQueen knock-off bag. Maybe knock-off isn’t the right word. Although it’s what they use on their blog, I like to think “inspired” is a better word. I adore the photos they took with lovely graffiti/city skyline/flower fields/forest-y/pyramid/busy street backgrounds. It’s a very cosmopolitan, global village feel.
They even featured quite a fair bit on black edgy fashion items like chain necklace, leather pants and the like which I personally adore and if given the budget, I would probably by now own a rock-star worthy wardrobe. That’s why my bio on twitter reads closet punk rockstar. Hurhur. 😛
But somehow seeing them in my personal fashion style – edgy, rocker/biker chic – I feel a sense of loss. I don’t know how to put it across or explain it. Maybe I am just tired of wearing black all the time. Maybe I have outgrown metal/rocker/biker chic style. Maybe I have a growing fondness for spring colours and motifs. A growing fondness for nude/neutral palette.
So I guess the whole point of today’s post is an increasing realization of how the black rocker chic style cool factor is waning for me. In fact black now channels a pretty everyman worker feel to me. No offense but black is a professional office executive colour.
I only started to be more selective with what I wear when I was 18 going 19. My FM4A classmates actually commented that they notice a rocker-chic girl image from how I dress and I was very surprised and pleased to hear that. Although I really think it’s more like muted/stripped down/simpler rocker chic style. HAHA.
So now I am left wondering and redefining what is my preferred fashion style. As of now I think it’s simple/modern/classic and I have an increasing desire to include more nude, neutral, pastel colours into my wardrobe, one piece at a time.
Ah… the love, the life, the woes of a fashion student.
Sometimes I think being in fashion is a contradiction for a christian. In an industry where looks, appearances are everything and where people are seen as superficial. God tells us beauty is not seen on golden braids but in the heart (my paraphrase, will dig up the verse another time) and that man looks at the appearance but God looks at the heart. Many times I think fashion is a very self-centred concept and an industry that breeds selfishness where people care more for the next fad and the next IT bag. What about God’s love for the poor, the needy, the widowed? They are almost completely over-shadowed, forgotten in this glitzy glamour world of fashion.
But the fact is that I know for sure Fashion is the industry that I want devote myself to work in this world. I love it and I enjoy it. Many times I feel that it is superficial and I am conflicted within. Can any christian tell me how not to be, in face of seeing provocative, sexy, sensual nude images flashing in fashion magazines, in lecture and better yet as a key image for a semester long project? The subject of nude images are mostly female so perhaps the temptation is lesser but nonetheless we/I am going to be increasingly desensitized by sex and whatever it sells. Can that be acceptable? The answer is no. What am I to do about it is the question that follows. One that I am still discovering.
I guess God’s purpose for me in the world of fashion is something I am still discovering and while I unravel the mystery I am continually reminding myself to keep my eyes on the cross. Okay I totally didn’t mean to end this post as a holy-moly one but I did. ^^V
Hmm I had insomnia last night. I think because I had a pretty long and exciting day. And I was up awake thinking what to do. Should I watch drama? No, that would cause me to stay up longer because one korean drama episode typically lasts an hour. So I thought aloud, “I can’t sleep, should I read? But just thinking about the books I have to read just makes me want to sleep.” HAHAHA.
I was thinking about the books on fashion I borrowed from the library. Various titles about textiles, designers and fashion culture. I’ve mentioned this before but I’ll say it again, haha. That they aren’t boring books in fact they are very interesting it’s just that once it becomes reading material it generally becomes boring. Oops. I have to admit I’m not a very studious or motivated student. :* But this semester I really want to excel, so I really need to put in a lot more effort in my studies than I am right now.
So basically I stayed up reading “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” by Joshua Harris. I remembered it being and good book and wanted to read it again before I pass it to a friend. I’ve actually gotten the gist of the book so I could vaguely remember the concepts within the book. I’m the kind of reader that reads for the gist of the book, digest it and makes it my own knowledge. So my knowledge is a sum of many digested knowledge and very often I can pull stories and tell you the gist of things and what about in my own words and cannot remember exactly where it’s from.
It’s a good book. Reading it again reminded me that it’s not what I need to do about singlehood but what I can do with singlehood. It’s one of the books that I’ve read that made me certain that I don’t need to date and to a large extent have little or no desire to date. There are many convincing reasons for me, a few being that I am better able to seek God and serve God in my youth because I am single, the freedom of singleness allows me more time to develop skills and knowledge, I do not have to suffer the pains of heartache from breakups/unsuccessful loves, I am guarding and preserving my heart for my partner/husband to be and perhaps most importantly I think is that I am not mature enough for a relationship. There are of course other reasons like I am not tied down to one person and accountable to the one person and hence I have the freedom to meet and make as many friends and develop many meaningful and fruitful friendships.
I believe that the time will come when I am older God will provide a bf so I am not worried or anxious to find one.
So far this week has been a pretty fruitful week. Met up with an old friend for lunch ytd before a bible study session with Xue and then it was class before heading home for dinner. Ok I wasn’t very productive last night. 🙁 I need to plan my time at night and be more productive!
Bini, Desmond and I went for Blackmarket No.2 opening at Orchard Central tonight and it was pretty crowded. Saw our fashion tutors and popular fashion people. Urban writer Rohai was there covering the event on video. It’s nice to see a growing interest in local design although I must say they are priced pretty high and some designs are not worth the price. It’s really difficult to sustain a local (read Singapore) brand. It requires a lot of passion, effort, successful business strategies! I am impressed with Blackmarket and I really wish them well and hope they go from height to height. 🙂
After checking out the event for a short while, Bini introduced us to a wonderful place for dinner, Sarang at the highest floor. It has wonderful ambience, serves delicious food and is not crowded! 😀 Desmond introduced us to a hidden gem of the Orchard Central basement that is an interesting mish-mash of Aegean Sea mural in one area, red-bricked country walls with ivy growing in another and lightning resembling those from a hotel lobby. Very queer but beautiful nonetheless.
The Aegean Sea Mural.. Will upload the other queer sights on fb as well as pictures of celebrating not-so-surprise-but-sweet Jing Wei’s birthday from tuesday night!
My paternal grandmother passed away last Friday evening. We affectionately call her Tampines Ama because she used to stay at Tampines. The name stuck even though she moved to Buang Kok a few years ago. The past few nights have been spent at the wake, entertaining my parent’s friends, chit-chatting with relatives and watching the Taoist procession take place.
My grandmother was 85 when she passed away. She suffered from throat cancer in the late 90s and since then speaking would require great effort on her part. The last few years her eyesight also deteriorated so there was minimal communication with her in her later years. There was also very little communication with her to begin with as I was very young then. So there is little sadness in parting with her and perhaps more relieve that she does not have to suffer ill-health on this earth anymore.
My grandmother had 8 children in all, 6 sons and 2 daughters and my dad’s the second eldest. She was only 19 when she had my dad! Our family history is rather complex, as my grandmother remarried after her first husband passed away. And my great uncle and my dad were quite “havoc” when they were younger. Hahaha.
I shall reserve the more juicy parts of the story to share with you face-to-face, whoever’s keen to know. 😉
I was slightly dreading to attend the wake because it was in Taoist style and because my family’s christian, we do no follow the procession. The wake and funeral was done in a grand affair and I couldn’t help but notice the irony of such a grand send-away upon my grandmother’s death. Why can’t Chinese appreciate the living in a grand way rather than in their death? Can the dead appreciate the filial piety of the living in parading in circles, folding and burning paper ingots and house and mountains? Wouldn’t a visit while she was alive, a harmonious gathering be more meaningful?
Of course there are reasons as to why Chinese do things this way. Matters of pride. Maybe my grandmother believed in Tao-ism and wanted to join her husbands. These questions can only be pondered upon by the living. And these are but some of the questions that ran through my mind as I saw my relative busy-ing around the wake, a cohesive-ness that was not seen before and perhaps not to be seen again.
Perhaps the most important lesson I brought home from the funeral was that ultimately it is relationships and not traditions that matter. I believe it is more so in my generation. A generation that is increasingly inquisitive and less superstitious. Can worshipping your human ancestors really bless you monetarily, etc? What is the point of attending a familial gathering just because we share the same blood? Rather, I would attend a gathering with friends whom I am closer with and feel more comfortable with.
But God didn’t place us in families for nothing. If we are meant to be salt and light of the world, all the more we need to be in our own homes and among our own relatives. I am praying for my relatives, that when the next funeral comes around, we are no longer burning house, gold and silver mountain made of paper but we are thanking a God for receiving a beloved relative that created the heavens and the earth. 🙂
1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
Before you read on, I want to add this caveat: This is one of those post under “emo” and to be taken with a pinch of salt in terms of what’s going on in my brain. It’s a result of being sick, tired and insomnia.
It’s 3.55am and I can’t sleep. I watched Monga with my sister earlier. It’s a show about brotherhood and friendship in Taiwan gang triads in the 70s. It doesn’t have much link with what I’m going to post, but just so you know.
School’s so far so good. Although a far share of drama already happened/happening from friends/classmates. Classes are interesting and relevant, classmates and tutors are friendly and to a certain level, engaging. So school’s pretty much all a student can ask for.
Being down with cough and flu this week really makes me and the week dull. It really sucks to be sick. And being sick really makes me lethargic all the time from the time I sleep to the time I wake (and mostly experiencing a “rude awakening” cause already late for meeting friend for lunch before school) hahaha. Last week was really much better in terms of waking earlier to prepare for school etc.
A lot of things I need to be reflecting on but I don’t know how and don’t know reflect to what end and even if I can do anything about it after I reflect so I basically just didn’t reflect. Hahaha. Although I know I should just do it nonetheless, don’t worry too much and just trust God that He’ll work all things out and not rely on my own wisdom or strength to carry through things etc. But it’s still difficult.
Amy says she couldn’t understand why I always cry saying I feel alone when I am not and so I explained to her when we met on Monday morning and I cried all over again after like what, a month? I tried really hard not to but I still did because I just couldn’t hold it in.
Now reflecting upon that, isn’t it
true? At the end of the day, unless you’re married and even if you’re married, you’re still alone. Only you are accountable for your own actions, for your own spiritual life and the steps you need to take, the tasks you need to complete. I guess I’ve just been waiting and hoping for things to happen(?) but life doesn’t happen that way.
Although I may add, maybe things aren’t supposed to happen this way but it did, and God allowed it to happen. And that I am not painting a pretty picture of myself because I see a realistic view of myself and that’s flawed. And I know it.
So well getting to the whole point of this post as well as the end of it is that I desire for excellence, to be excellent in everything I do but it’s so hard.
Hii I am back~ for a second follow up post for today. I shall clarify, Dione (HI THERE!! :D) didn’t ask why God allowed evil but rather what to say when a friend asks her why God allowed or even created Serpent the devil in the first place. The QT material I will painstakingly post here may not be a direct answer to the question but I think it sorts of address the topic/issue at hand. Enjoy!
Day 65 | Everyday With Jesus | One Year Devotional | Bread for the Journey.
Firstly… a passage of the bible for reading and meditation…
Colossians 1:15-23 (New International Version, ©2010)
The Supremacy of the Son of God
15 The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation. 16 For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.18 And he is the head of the body, the church; he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. 19 For God was pleased to have all his fullness dwell in him, 20 and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether things on earth or things in heaven, by making peace through his blood, shed on the cross.21 Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of[a]your evil behavior. 22 But now he has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation— 23 if you continue in your faith, established and firm, and do not move from the hope held out in the gospel. This is the gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature under heaven, and of which I, Paul, have become a servant.
Why was it necessary for the Lamb to be slain from the creation of the world? When God created the world and laid down the broad beams that formed the universe He foresaw that evil would enter His creation and prepared for it by building into it a cross.
Couldn’t God have made a universe in which sin and evil were impossible? He could have done so but just think what kind of a world it would have been: one in which creatures would have been like robots and responded to His commands in the same way that the computer on which I am writing these lines responds to my touch. By creating the universe and endowing creatures with the dangerous gift of free will God brought into existence the conditions in which evil became a possibility. Evil was not His intention. Yet, for a reason known only to Himself, He decided that by creating a universe in which evil could break out, greater glory could be gained for Himself and a higher good achieved for humanity than if He allowed it to remain uncreated.
In designing the universe, however, God made sure that that the possibilty of sin was met by the possibility of redemption. Thus those broad beams on which the universe is built are in the shape of a cross. And as we shall see a little later, you don’t have to look very closely at the universe to observe that. Like a watermark in paper, the cosmos has a cross imprinted in it. It is not something imposed on time but exposed from it.
Additional bible passages:
Deuteronomy 30:1-19 (New International Version, ©2010)
Prosperity After Turning to the LORD
1 When all these blessings and curses I have set before you come on you and you take them to heart wherever the LORD your God disperses you among the nations, 2 and when you and your children return to the LORD your God and obey him with all your heart and with all your soul according to everything I command you today, 3 then the LORD your God will restore your fortunes[a] and have compassion on you and gather you again from all the nations where he scattered you. 4 Even if you have been banished to the most distant land under the heavens, from there the LORD your God will gather you and bring you back. 5 He will bring you to the land that belonged to your ancestors, and you will take possession of it. He will make you more prosperous and numerous than your ancestors. 6 The LORD your God will circumcise your hearts and the hearts of your descendants, so that you may love him with all your heart and with all your soul, and live. 7 The LORD your God will put all these curses on your enemies who hate and persecute you. 8 You will again obey the LORD and follow all his commands I am giving you today. 9 Then the LORD your God will make you most prosperous in all the work of your hands and in the fruit of your womb, the young of your livestock and the crops of your land. The LORD will again delight in you and make you prosperous, just as he delighted in your ancestors, 10 if you obey the LORD your God and keep his commands and decrees that are written in this Book of the Law and turn to the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul.
The Offer of Life or Death
11 Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach. 12 It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, “Who will ascend into heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?” 13 Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, “Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?” 14 No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.
15 See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. 16 For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in obedience to him, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.
17 But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, 18 I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.
19 This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live
Joshua 24:15 (New International Version, ©2010)
15 But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”
1 Kings 18:21 (New International Version, ©2010)
21 Elijah went before the people and said, “How long will you waver between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him; but if Baal is God, follow him.”
Psalm 119:30 (New International Version, ©2010)
30 I have chosen the way of faithfulness;
I have set my heart on your laws.
The last part of the devotion just reminded me of Louie Giglio’s sermon where he showed a picture taken by NASA. Here’s the scientific website I got the picture: http://www.scienceclarified.com/Bi-Ca/Black-Hole.html And here’s the write up for the picture:
An image of the core of the Whirlpool galaxy M51 (NGC 5149) taken by the Hubble Space Telescope. It shows an immense ring of dust and gas that is thought to surround and hide a giant black hole in the center of the galaxy. (Reproduced by permission of National Aeronautics and Space Administration)
When I was in one of my lowest period of my life last year, my sister, Lu Jia, wrote me a letter. I will not go into details but as I re-read the letter I went to read up more on the bible verses she quoted.
She quoted 3 passages in the bible.
4 The people to whom I am sending you are obstinate and stubborn. Say to them, ‘This is what the Sovereign LORD says.’ 5 And whether they listen or fail to listen—for they are a rebellious people—they will know that a prophet has been among them. 6 And you, son of man, do not be afraid of them or their words. Do not be afraid, though briers and thorns are all around you and you live among scorpions. Do not be afraid of what they say or be terrified by them, though they are a rebellious people. 7 You must speak my words to them, whether they listen or fail to listen, for they are rebellious.
2 Tim 4:2
2 Preach the word; be prepared in season and out of season; correct, rebuke and encourage—with great patience and careful instruction.
3 Then he said to me, “Son of man, eat this scroll I am giving you and fill your stomach with it.” So I ate it, and it tasted as sweet as honey in my mouth.
But what struck me as I was just reading these in my bible was what was between the quoted Ezekial passages in Ezekial 2:8.
8 But you, son of man, listen to what I say to you. Do not rebel like that rebellious people; open your mouth and eat what I give you.”
I am ashamed to admit that at that time I chose to rebel and refused to eat the scroll that God has given me. Although at that time I didn’t come across God’s instructions in Ezekial 2:8. I really can’t second guess if I had read that verse what I would have done. Would I have repented then, or not?
Looking back, I actually felt more upset with God after reading my sister’s letter and kind of threw it aside. For one it struck me really hard that God knows what I am going through, the words were like hammer hitting the nail home. I was told to not be afraid, despite God knowing I am tasked to preach to unresponsive, ungrateful & rebellious people, I was instructed to eat the word so that I could be prepared in and out of season to continue to do God’s work.
In my self-centredness all I could see was in my misery, God asking me to eat His word, so that I could speak to His people and that was beyond me. I felt that I needed help, I wanted attention and someone to feed me, nurse me back to health.
What I neglected to see was that only God’s word could nurse me back to health. And he was telling me to do just that. But I was blinded by my self-centredness and chose to rebel.
I thank God that I now know God’s word is powerful, that He wants to speak to me about so many more things and impart His wisdom. But I need to continue to work and persevere in my discipline to eat His scroll. I need to be inspired by those who continually feed on His word and be encouraged to do likewise. And, I need to wait upon the Lord and listen to what message He wants me to impart to the lives around me.
A long post but I hope you have been encouraged by it. 🙂
School is starting tmr (or later rather) at 11.30! I plan to go earlier to settle admin stuff and after school meet Dione to watch Kong Hee’s sermon!!! A CD Jie jie passed me eons back but in my then laisse-fairness never got down to it! Have a great and blessed week my beloved friends!
6 Jan’s my sister, Lu Jia’s 23rd birthday!!!
Happy Birthday again Jie Jie!!! Thanks for being such an awesome sister buying me strawberry polar puff cake, random gifts (!) and sharing and listening to my happy/sad thoughts/complaints. I really enjoyed spending more time with you last year and here’s to an even more awesome year of sisterhood together! HAHAHA. I know you like being 23 (Er jie told me so on msn and how you think being 4, you can’t clean your backside) and I can’t wait to be 21 and legal too! Hahaha. Love you muchie!!! xoxoxo
Art Meet Up Rach, Jon, Martin, Yu Ting, Steff, Guang, Guo and Ian! Too bad Ms Chan and Ernica couldn’t make it! The next time we meet we should plan like a BBQ or a movie cum picnic something. Sorry ah my plan very chill onex. Just coffee/tea/talk at TCC and some doodling gift letter. HAHA. It was good meeting up! We’ve definitely changed, like I’m less hyper, Guo talks more, Jon is more holy while Ian became more wild… One thing I’m sure of from this meet up is that we sure are as comfortable as old souls when we meet. It was just good to chillax talking about videos, showing/seeing work, talking about our works – or lack there of, talking about entertainment and inspiration, about friends, family, neighbours and the list goes on. It was good. Hope to catch up more on their lives and I actually really hope we can get together and work on something in the near future. For now, we will all help Steffi and ourselves with her upcoming VoxArt project! 🙂
These are some “chicken little” new DIY new year cards I handmade and gave some of my dearest girlfriends in church! 😀 My sister Lu Jia says they are “obiang” breaking my heart… Dione says it’s true, adding on “You want an honest friend!” HAHAHA. Yes my dear…
My new year week has been spent on packing my room. I think this round has taking the longest record, about a week and I’m still not absolutely done. Due to lack of inspiration of how to organize my room/stuff. 🙁
But I had a super week! Catching up with old friends on facebook! My pri and sec school friends alike. On wed, I had lunch with Dione at Bedok Point Bishamon’s Ramen shop. Their Salmon Ramen Salad has the sesame flavour reminiscent of the squid dish served on a cold plate at the start of Chinese wedding banquet. We enjoyed it. And then just shopping chilling all the way to Tampines. I will really miss Dione when she leaves!!! 🙁 I spent Christmas day, New Years Eve and New year week with her! 😀 BFF. Hahaha.
Xue Li came over today and we started on a new bible study material , Thessalonians! Yay! (although I must note we left Genesis bible study half way we must work to get that back on track someday) It’s a book written by Paul encouraging Christians to remain faithful in trial, a reminder useful for old and new christians a like! And the study material teachings practical biblical steps of how we can! It is very encouraging to see growth in someone whom God has entrusted you to. God is the one who causes the growth, hallelujah! 🙂
A few of my 2011 Goals
Hello! It’s 31 Dec, last day of 2010. And I’m feeling emo. Not because it’s the last day of the year but because of various accumulated reasons… 🙁 Too complex to be discussed in the scope of this blog.
I guess it’s terrible to write emo gloom doom stuff on my blog and negatively influence you all… but I do feel this way. I think its a lot harder to stop/quit feeling this way that I thought… :'(
So… hope you all have a wonderful end to 2010! 🙂
This was meant to be blogged last night/early morning but something cropped up with WordPress so I decided to type on Word and am only posting it now. 🙂
Here are some over-due photos from YPM Camp, YA Gathering & Outreach Prep !
With Brian Tan my 13 year old camp angel.
A group of church boys sewing Christmas outreach gifts is really quite a sight!
God has been faithful and Christmas outreach went well, we believe many have been blessed by it. Heard a few wonderful testimonies of how newcomers have been touched and even how a friend felt so touched she wanted too accept Christ again. Aww! 🙂 There are many areas we can improve upon, publicity and follow-up so hopefully come next year, Christmas outreach will be better and bless even more people!
I thank God for everyone who came and helped out for Daniel & Benjamin Christmas gathering. Especially to Siew Ho, Amy, Yee Ning, Russ and Jon. It was a good time of hanging around and sharing thanksgiving for the year. 🙂
I had a wonderful Christmas evening with Dione, watching 500 Days of Summer, chilling (literally in the cold) all the way back home. Hahaha. And the next day, spent a whole day with her, church, after church shopping first at the new Bedok Point then Orchard. It was so good and fruitful to share and also listen to her share. It was also a fruitful shopping day for me. Hehe. 🙂
The most important lesson I’ve learnt this year is that I cannot take my eyes away from Christ, especially when troubles come and don’t go, when my patience and love is gone. That’s when I need to focus on Him even more. The spiritual discipline I’ve once cultivated (actually not too long ago) is now gone and I need to get it back. My new year resolution is to hunger and thirst for God’s word and be disciplined in my spiritual life.
This passage of the bible spoke to me today:
1 Peter 1:3-9 (New International Version, ©2010)
Praise to God for a Living Hope
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, 5 who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.
Looking back, I feel a tinge of horrible-ness for my actions/in-actions. But there is little regret and I thank God for showing me that I am going through a period of refinement. Even now, I find myself very critical and almost always catching myself to not think critically and judgmentally of others. I need strength and love from God to find that balance of love and truth! So very hard indeed!
11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. – Hebrews 12:11
I am still at lost with many things and I shall desire to seek God for wisdom to know what to do, for help that He will send me down on earth.
To end off, Thank God for keeping my family safe and healthy and for loving and caring friends!!! 😀
Lion of Judah was a refreshing camp for me. It was my first time being a game-master and being in a group with older campers, mostly ypm leaders. It felt like I was watching the other younger campers going through the camp rather than actually being a camper.
It was a good camp for me, a time where I was refreshed with the word of the Lord through very engaging sermons by Pastor James who spoke and exhorted on the Lion of Judah, Jesus Christ our King.
I was reminded of my first love for Jesus when I saw the younger ones dedicate their lives to God and I also rededicated my life to God and recommitted to be faithful and disciplined for His glory. God also reminded me that He has called me to serve in YPM, to serve and be an example for the younger ones.
12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. 13 Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to preaching and to teaching. 14 Do not neglect your gift, which was given you through prophecy when the body of elders laid their hands on you.15 Be diligent in these matters; give yourself wholly to them, so that everyone may see your progress. 16 Watch your life and doctrine closely. Persevere in them, because if you do, you will save both yourself and your hearers.
On the last night of camp Aunty Mei Yoke and I also had the opportunity to hear Ryan, Xue Li and Michael’s camp experiences and prayed for them.
I also got to know Joyce and Ee Ling a lot better through the camp and Yun Hui also heard me share some of the struggles I’ve been facing and prayed for me. I am really very thankful for them and the blessings they pour forth in YPM. 🙂
Camp Comm. this year is a very humble and serving group consisting of Zhi Rong, Jerome, Becky, Glenn, Yee Ning and Joshua, thank God for their service that has blessed the campers so much!
YA Christmas gathering on Sunday was a very touching, cosy and heartwarming affair. I really thank God for Justin and the core group consisting of Felicia, Cooper, Joyce, Barry and Jovian. (Not sure if I missed out anyone else) I really love the group and everyone in it, their lives and love and care for others and the word of God has been a great source of encouragement to me through this year.
New Beginning Youth Outreach service is busy underway. What’s left are the actual day preparations and making of gifts. Thank God for all who are helping, from the music team, mime cast, lightings, ushers to gift-making team, everyone has been so willing and joyfully serving, giving me great joy to be serving alongside them. I am so thankful for this opportunity to get to know all of them better! Please please keep us in your prayers that we will be kept healthy and in the best form to serve God on Dec 23, this Thursday and that most importantly that the lives of those who come will be touched by God.
On a last note, the camp reminded me of a friend whom I face a certain awkward past with. On hindsight I think I probably over-reacted and was immature in how I handled the friendship and I feel that I have unknowingly hurt the friend more than I know. I have prayed that God will mend and reconcile the friendship and take away the awkwardness because I really do treasure the friend.
Come for New Beginning ! Dec 23, Thursday, 7.15pm! First 200 has very beautiful hand made door gifts! 145 Marine Parade, Chapel on 2nd level! 😀
Hahaha it took me so long to reload my vlog… I edited it with imovie on my mac and I was really just playing around so some of the effects don’t make sense, like red curtains in the middle of the vlog. HAHAHA. Although I claim to be introverted but I secretly enjoy seeing myself looking pretty on pictures and videos so don’t hate me or say I’m ugly or anything like that! I’m just kidding… 😛 I did 4 more Christmas cards for my zazzle shop today. I think this week was a little teeny weeny bit more productive than the last, but not very productive still… YPM camp next week! Enjoy the random vlog! Tell me if you like it or not and why and if you’ll watch a 2nd vlog? HAHAHA. Ok bye!
Please wait till the video load before watching! And… I think I want to cut my fringe.
I think this post will be a deep one.. I feel it… So this is a cute picture of me and my toys to belie the cheamness of this post. HAHAHA as if I need a reason to post a cute picture of myself on my blog… ^^ – more cute emoticons /( ‘ . ‘) i’m quite good at this huh!
So when I was reflecting I initially thought that what I learnt was to be less in control. That all along I’ve been too in control and when things don’t go according to plan I get crushed. But that’s not the case. The case in point (tee hee so lawyerly must be influenced from reading Jie jie’s notes) is that I don’t know how to strike that elusive balance in a christian life. Being in love with God and yet also loving the world. Mission imPOSSIBLE. yeah right. (Sorry can’t help but be sarcastic at this pt in time)
So i’ve been meaning to write a poem on how my coping mechanism’s been. It’s more like reblog, I think I wrote that poem some time back and it’s shelved in the annals in one of my now defunct blogs. But I will spare you the cheesy poem (alright I know you guys do love my poems right? right? :P) The poem talks about a clam. Need no explanation. HAHAHA. Ya so natural mechanism, people. When hurt, I just clam up and keep things to myself… Avoid people… Don’t let people in so I don’t get hurt, simple!
I’ve been literally crying every week for 2 months (maybe even longer now) and I avoid talking about it so I don’t cry. It’s getting to a point I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. And sick of being so damn weak. But it’s ironic, I don’t want to be strong.
So yes I’ve kinda drifted away from topic but you’ll see it all links up. The thing is, it’s so difficult to strike that balance. When I think I got it, but I didnt, and since I didn’t, why did I bother? GOSH I know it’s stupid, but I gave up trying. But you know what, God never lets his stupid kids go. Teehee. Thank you God for loving me. ^^
So the song, the song, old song, I heard today. “Heart of Worship” rings true.
I’m coming back to the heart of worship
And it’s all about You
All about You, Jesus
I’m sorry Lord for the thing I’ve made it
When it’s all about You
It’s all about You Jesus
At the end of the day, I need to realise and accept that it’s not going to be about me. Typed some really super cheesy lines but decided to delete them instead, I’m shy. Hahahaha.
So yes. I am still learning. Being 20 is amazing, no longer a teen, not yet an adult. Lost in between. The world of teenage lust and desires being held back (maybe not sometimes) by a growing rationalism. I disapprove of how I’ve been. It was me totally trying (LOL) to be rebellious and kick my shoes in the air and shout “I don’t care, eh eh eh eh eh” to the tune of korean pop girl-band 2NE1’s hit.
I’m still trying to complete Phillip Pullman’s “His Dark Materials”. Yes, he’s an atheist and his work is supposedly anti-christ but I read for leisure like I did with J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series and Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series. Gosh, there’s obviously an appeal with the occult huh? Hahaha. I really do recommend Pullman’s work. It’s really a literary work of art. The worlds, the characters, the words are beautifully crafted. What I love most is in a particular more medieval like world which the heroine, a young girl Lyra comes from, his creation of “daemon” a little spirit animal that follows the people upon birth. Before the child matures to an adult, the daemon constantly evolves and changes, it could be as timid as a mouse, or loyal as a dog or bold as an eagle. But when the child reaches maturity then his daemon no longer changes but is fixed at the child’s most defining character so to speak. So a guardman’s daemon is a dog and a crafty woman’s daemon’s a monkey.
And often while reading I feel so much admiration for Pullman’s keen observation of mankind and due to how much I relate to it. It’s exactly frustrating for me cause right now, I’m experiencing so much changes, if humans had daemon, mine would be distorted, contorted right now. And I know, this is a phase, one day which again, I think will be soon, 1-3 years time, my character and personality will (I hope, fingers crossed) be more stable and I won’t feel so vexed like I am and at lost. And while I am at it, I really really want to make sure I give in my best effort to be the best I can be, before I get stuck into the personality/character for my adulthood.
Hahaha it’s really been a long post huh! Alright time to sleep, ciaos! 😉 Hope you enjoyed the long read. Heehee.
Had an eventful and fun day! Ok by now it’s yesterday, but ohh whatever~ 😛
Thank God, got into the specialism of my choice, Fashion Management. Was discussing with Beatrice, my classmate that seems like most people get into their choice of course, with interview or not. The great news for us management students is that we didn’t need interview unlike all the other course – design, textile & comm! ^^ Woohoooooo I sorta didn’t want an interview cause it’s you know, so unnecessary… hehehe… Anyway can you tell I’m in a good mood and I’m more verbose so let me go on. Circe (our fashion course head, who also lectures/heads fashion management) was saying how this year’s FM students makes the “dream team”, with impressive grades to boot… woohoo… I’m praying we’ll all make an awesomest class of students!!! *claps hand close eyes bows head
thennn in cheeryyy mood I bought my new wallet and new diary for new year 2011 (yes v early but I have 20% member’s discount from kikki. k. :D) this is so lame but girls get v excited over things they buy, ok.
and met up with friends for dinnerrr movieeee and sushii during movie omgosh love. anyways im now on a lookout for people to hang with while im free but most if not all my lovely girlies are mad busy studying… yingling.. ming.. my sis… it’s not funny… so i hang with martin.. ian.. joshua.. dafril… mostly the boys that ORD! hahaha congrats man guys so happy for you all new found freedom. I am rambling ok. I think they don’t even read my blog. haha. ok byes!
Marquez looked troubled. “I’m not always sure. Yeah, I know who I am, like you said, but everyone knows who they are.”
“No, they don’t.” Summer said. “Lots of times I don’t. Lots of times I’m like a cloud changing shapes with the wind. It’s like people look at me and some think I look like a rabbit or a squirrel. and others think, no, that cloud looks like a map of Australia.”
– Extract from Beach Blonds by Katherine Applegate.
I am so tempted to tell all the stories that concerns this one bad person. But I will not. It’s way to bitchy for me to do that, and I don’t want to stoop to that level. I want to move on. Far far away from that person and forever more. Don’t ever want to be involved in that person’s life. Thank God I am not going to fashion design.
In this 4 months, I’ve made friends and found out that friends lie and betray me because of some misunderstandings they don’t resolve with me, despite all the times I’ve helped them with their schoolwork. In fact one misunderstanding occurred because I helped.
I found out that friend will hurt friends to further their own agendas and more despicably, use other to ruin others. And one willingly does so, while ostracizing people who kindly discourage them to do so. *Amazed* That one person is in absolute denial…
But I thank God, through it all, I may have been burned, but not killed. And I have found REAL friends that will tell me the damn truth instead of lying to me. And friends who CARE for me and will HELP me. 😀 😀 😀
God will be my avenger although I am obviously not gonna seek revenge or wish ill upon evil people. But the way they choose to lead their lives, they will do so to their ruin. Or more mean and evil people will ruin them, not kidding.
I HAVE become stronger and wiser. I am definitely much more freaking aware of what things are happening and definitely not going to be busybody and be involved in any drama whatsoever againnnnn. YAY!!!
Of course, through this all, I know people are not perfect, we are flawed and we make mistakes BUT innocent mistakes are NOT THE SAME with schemes. Or manipulation or intentional sowing of discord and ruining people’s life. Eyes can tell and humans can discern. Such people should be cautioned, you’ll be burned.
I am definitely amazed and amused that some people live such sad lives of toying with other people’ lives, who gain such thrill out dirty ploys. They should… get a life. And my parents are wise, they tell me to do nothing with such people with them except to pray for them.
Drama aside, everyone else in my class have been nothing short of lovely. 😉 I am happy and proud to be a class rep of such an outstanding class!
Lastly, the truth will be revealed… I have no need to explain myself. Those who need lies to cover themselves or choose to avoid people will need to do so their whole lives.
It’s the last leg of race to the finish!
Last presentation for Fashion Management tmr! I pray everything will go smoothly.
When it’s over, I will find time to sit down and review my life in Lasalle for the past 4 months in Fashion foundation. It’s been a wild ride, one beyond my imagination and what I thought I signed up for. I’ve been warned, but I never knew so many things would happen. And how unprepared I was.
So there, a little teaser for the next post.
Meanwhile I will be away doing my ppt slides!
Btw I sooooo want to go for a holiday…. somewhere with a beach… or a lot of malls… to play and shop.
I want to shop for new stuff. Hahaha.